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Exclusive: Jane gets Tommy Chong to say "Dave’s not here, man"

by Jane Boursaw on November 30th, 2008

Cheech & Chong are making a comeback! They’re currently on their “Light Up America Tour,” and you can check out the dates and locales on their Web site. A documentary about the tour will be out sometime in 2009.

There’s also a Cheech & Chong Roast airing tonight, Sunday, 10 p.m. on TBS. I won’t miss it, because, well, I love those guys.

I talked to Tommy recently about what’s going on in his life, including his documentary, “A/k/a Tommy Chong,” released on DVD earlier this year. It chronicles how Tommy got busted for selling bongs, and how the cops stormed his house with dogs and helicopters.

Read on for Tommy’s thoughts, and learn what happened when I asked him to say, “Dave’s not here.”

More after the jump…

Jane: So the DVD talks about how the cops stormed your house with dogs and helicopters and you ended up in jail. Had they been after you all those years?

Tommy: Oh, that was the first time. Cheech and I had friends in police stations all over. I don’t know how many times they found a joint on me, going through the border, and the cops would just laugh and tell us to “get out of here”. I really thought I had a free pass, but I found out different.

Jane: Why do you think this happened now? This was after 9/11, right?

Tommy: The Bush administration, by and large, is made up of cowards, and they wanted to bring down the California hippies, those dope-smoking dope growers. And hippies are easy targets; we’re easy to arrest. We not only come peacefully, but we will cook a meal for you, and if you get hurt, we will help you. When I was in jail, it was the hippies that had the whole jail looking beautiful. We were the ones that tended the gardens and swept and kept the place clean, because that’s the way we are.

Jane: What’s funny to me is that you’re this mild-mannered guy. You’re a family guy who’s been married to the same woman for years, and you’re as far away as can be from the guy they made you out to be.

Tommy: Yeah, absolutely. It just boggles the mind the way these people operate, the way they think, and the paranoia … it makes you wonder what drugs they’re on.

Jane: Was the thing that got you in trouble your “weapons of mass destruction” comment, you think?

Tommy: Yeah, I think that was the nail in the coffin. You know, after they arrested me, they looked into my record and found nothing. No DUI, no assault, no jaywalking, nothing. And while I was incarcerated, they tried many times to have me violate their rules. I got offered more pot in prison than I do on the outside, then I’d get drug tested soon after they offered it to me.

Jane: Were you a rock star in prison? Did you have a lot of fans in there?

Tommy: Yeah, I was more like a movie star and a music star, because I was on some rap records they used to play. It was quite thrilling.

Jane: So is your family still making bongs, or did you have to go out of business?

Tommy: Oh no, the government took that business.

Jane: They forced you to shut down, even though it’s not illegal in California?

Tommy: They not only forced us to shut down, but they went through the factory and threw all the glass they could find on the floor and broke it. They were just thugs. It was like the Nazis came into my house, storm troopers with boots and guns and loaded automatic weapons.

Jane: Oh, man.

Tommy: I mean, it was disgusting. They took our computers and cash … we sell T-shirts at our gigs, and we don’t deal drugs or anything, but we had about $25,000 in cash, and they took it all. Whatever is not nailed down, they will take it.

Jane: Was there any pot in the house?

Tommy: Oh yeah, they took that and tried to make a big deal over it, but the search warrant never said anything about pot. Because I have a medical card, I am legally entitled to grow and have it, but not according to federal law.

Jane: How does that work? Can they override that?

Tommy: They override, whenever they feel like it. They get you in federal court. That’s why they busted me the way they did, on a conspiracy charge. Conspiring to ship bongs through the mail. I could have beaten it, but they would have gone after my son, my wife (Shelby, pictured) and made life miserable for us. We’d still be in court.

Jane: You’re a hero!

Tommy: Yeah…

Jane: I was looking at the bongs in the DVD, and they’re so beautiful. Really works of art.

Tommy: I had them in an art show. In fact, that was going to be my defense, that they’re actually works of art, and if people want to smoke their art, that’s their business.

Jane: Now, did they say that your Cheech and Chong films were a violation of the first amendment? Did I hear that correctly?

Tommy: No, they said that the reason I should do jail time is because I’ve made a living and gotten very rich from making movies that glorified drugs and made fun of law enforcement agencies. Can you imagine any jury in the world going, ‘let me think, he made movies that glorified drugs so, therefore, he should go to jail’? Talk about your first amendment.

Jane: That’s crazy. And it makes you wonder if they’re going to go after filmmakers like Seth Rogen.

Tommy: Well, no, this was a one-time thing. It was all about taking peoples’ minds off the Iraq war, giving them something else to look at, you know. And while everybody’s attention is over here, let’s go in and take out these guys.

Jane: Right, and I love what Bill Maher said, that if anybody feels safer because Tommy Chong is in prison, that’s just wrong. That hit home for me.

Tommy: It was right on target.

Jane: So are you back on the road now, doing comedy?

Tommy: With Cheech, yeah. Cheech and I are on the road.

Jane: That’s cool, because on the DVD, it sounded like he wasn’t really into getting back together.

Tommy: No, he wasn’t, but I’ve been getting so much press, he wanted to be part of it.

Jane: I wanted to ask how you went from doing comedy back in the early days to opening for rock concerts. Because nobody really had ever done that before, right? You guys were kind of the first?

Tommy: Well, my career was music oriented, and Cheech was a singer in different bands, so we really saw ourselves as a rock band that did comedy. So we would do skits, and, you know, people were there to hear bands, and the next thing you know, they’re all sitting down and listening. It was incredible.

Jane: Did you write all that stuff yourselves, early on?

Tommy: Yeah, that was always a bone of contention with Cheech. I would actually write things on paper, and Cheech would improvise. So when we did the movies, I’d be the one writing the script, and it became a thankless job. It got to be a clash of rich guys. When you’re poor, you don’t have that problem because you have no choice, you’ve got to make it. But once you’ve made it, then all of a sudden, it’s ‘well, listen, I don’t have to do this. I can be in my house in Malibu.’ But now we’re back in, and it’s really comfortable.

Jane: Did someone originally approach you to do “Up In Smoke,” or did you guys pursue that on your own?

Tommy: Oh no, everything we did, we had to do it ourselves. We wrote and directed it. Lou Adler was the director in name, but Cheech and I, we wrote as we went, you know.

Jane: With him improvising, it must have gotten really interesting for you sometimes, huh?

Tommy: Oh yeah, but even to this day – we worked last weekend – and there’s this sort of mental telepathy that goes on between us

Jane: Just one more thing … “That 70s Show” … how did you end up on there? That’s cool that you’ve got a whole new generation of viewers with that show.

Tommy: They had to track me down. I didn’t even have an agent, and I used my agent that books me in the clubs. So, yeah, they tracked me down and offered me the show. I jumped all over it. I loved it.

Jane: Yeah, we love that show. Ok, now before I let you go, you just have to say it for me one time: Dave’s not here.

Tommy: Dave’s not here, man.

Jane: Oh wait! My husband is jumping on the phone!

Jane’s Husband: I heard it 40 years ago, and I want to hear it for real!

Tommy: Ok, here we go: Dave’s not here, man.

Jane’s Husband: You made my year, Sir.

Jane: Thank you, Tommy!

Tommy: Ok, take care now.

Images: “A/k/a/ Tommy Chong,” Blue Chief Entertainment; Tommy Chong

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